Me, Myself and Lies

Here I am again, battling Satan for the thoughts in my head. He is doing everything he can to convince me that I am nothing to no one. It's been a really hard week. It seems rather heartbreaking that days after we are supposed to be celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior that it can seem like it never happened. I have done a lot of grieving this week over a lot of things and it has just knocked me down over and over again. I guess it's that after Christmas depression that people talk about, but for me, it's something I deal with all year. Anyone who knows me knows that I am very hard on myself and don't view myself as a worth while or valuable person. I've dealt with it most of my life. It's an area that Satan has such a hold on that every time I try to give it to God it just doesn't sink in. When I do give my thoughts to God, I feel so on top of the world, but that only lasts for a day or two because then, something happens and I'm right back to my old ways. Yesterday, I hit rock bottom in this moment of Satan induced self-loathing and I had had enough.

So, I went to the book case in our room, trying to find anything to do with God that would give me a little encouragement. I came across this Bible study that I bought at another time such as this and decided to start diving into it again. This post is in no way an endorsement of said Bible study (which this post is titled after) because sometimes it is a little on the cheesy side, but I like the idea of it. It is basically telling women to take their thoughts and fill them up with God's. So, whenever we start to worry or get down on ourselves, we should change the course of those thoughts to what God tells us in His Word. Isn't that what we are supposed to do anyway? We are supposed to let God's Word fill up our hearts and lives. I know I need more than a Bible study to change the way I think. I need God to speak to me and maybe this is how it will finally break Satan's hold on me!