Nothing Is Wasted

This week has been melt down after melt down with me. I don't know what is going on with me but, it's time to take the necessary steps to find out what it is. I'm dealing with a lot of emotions lately. I'm trying to figure out if what I'm going through is depression or if there is something more wrong with me. I've had people try to explain what depression looks like and I am still uncertain if that is what this is. I have never been depressed before so, it's hard for me to know if that is what I'm going through. I have been having a lot of physical problems that I don't understand. I am 32. I shouldn't be exhausted all the time to the point of feeling like I can't do anything. So, I'm going to make an appointment with a doctor to get a check-up. Please pray for me that I will take this step because I have been putting it off for awhile out of fear of what I might find out.

I have been reading about Joseph the past couple of weeks and how he suffered so much but, still had success in his life because he relied on God. I feel like this time in my life is the worst suffering I have ever had to endure and I really want to come to a place of relying on God because I know that I am going through this because He is going to use this for some purpose He has. I know that there is hope in my circumstance and I'm just ready to deal with what I need to deal with and move on. I have been reminded of a song lately that is really speaking to me and I know that out of all of this, "Beauty will rise."

Nothing Is Wasted

The hurt that broke your heart
And left you trembling in the dark
Feeling lost and alone
Will tell you hope's a lie
But what if every tear you cry
Will seed the ground where joy will grow

Nothing is wasted
Nothing is wasted
In the hands of our Redeemer
Nothing is wasted

It's from the deepest wounds
That beauty finds a place to bloom
And you will see before the end
That every broken piece is
Gathered in the heart of Jesus
And what's lost will be found again

Nothing is wasted
Nothing is wasted
In the hands of our Redeemer
Nothing is wasted

From the ruins
From the ashes
Beauty will rise
From the wreckage
From the darkness
Glory will shine

Why I Left Facebook

I don't even know if there are people who read this unless they see a link on my Facebook page. So, it's possible that I'm writing this to thin air. A few weeks ago, I was astounded at some things I was seeing on Facebook that made me really angry. I will not go into it on here for the very reason I left Facebook. Reason  1: I often got really angry because of some things that I have had to deal with on there and I would just fall apart because of it. I would obsess about it for days and be really stressed out and fuming. So, my husband told me once again that he would advise me to leave Facebook. This time, I listened.

Reason 2: I feel like Facebook can cause a lot of disunity among friends and fellow Christians. I think people  have the idea that they can say whatever they want on Facebook and it doesn't matter if it hurts other people because they can't see them. There are a lot of people out there that I never see or talk to in person. I have no idea what their lives are like or really who they are anymore. I only get the piece of them that they put on Facebook and sometimes, though this doesn't included everyone, that piece makes me wonder what has happened to the person I knew. So, in order to keep from changing my view of people that I love, I left.

Reason 3: This is the biggest reason I left. We have been studying in my Bible study class about giving up personal gods. I realized that Facebook had become a god in my life. I was so addicted, I would check it several times every hour because I didn't want to miss anything. As I did this, I was neglecting responsibilities I have in my real life. I was also neglecting people that are right here in my world. I also think that, for me, Facebook was a cop-out of having to call people on the phone. I miss talking to people and hearing their voices. I want deeper relationships with people than Facebook could ever provide. I was spending more time on Facebook than I was with my son and that breaks my heart.

So, that is why I left. I'm not saying that Facebook is evil or anything but, I, personally, can't handle it right now. The funny thing is that I really don't miss it that much. I do miss seeing what people are up to but, I don't miss the need to constantly check it. God is doing a lot in my heart right now and I am so thankful that He finally got through to me about this.