BSF

If anyone keeps up with me on Facebook, you know that I have started going to BSF and I love it! For those of you who don't know, BSF stands for Bible Study Fellowship. It is a free Bible class that meets once a week! They have classes for women, men, and children! It is an international organization. I highly recommend finding one in your area, if you are interested! http://www.bsfinternational.org

Anyway, now that I've given them a little plug, I'll move on. I absolutely believe that God brought me to this class at just the right time. I was really trying to read my Bible more and was doing really well, but I still felt disconnected from God and others. One day, a friend of mine mentioned BSF on facebook and I thought, "I need to finally check and see if there is a class here." I have known about BSF since high school and my mother-in-law was involved for 18 years and was a leader. I guess I just forgot it was there. So, I found a class here in Columbia and I fell in love! It has been such an incredible experience so far and Logan loves it as well (they have a program for children while I'm in my class)!

I have grown so much in my faith just in the almost 2 months that I have been there! I am seeing God work daily and He is a bigger part of my day than He has been in a long time! One of the main things I have gotten out of BSF is that I see more and more how much I need Him. I can't do anything without Him. When we went to the Andrew Peterson concert last week, he sang one of my favorite songs (well, lets face it, just about all of his songs are my favorite). This one in particular just made me think about what God is doing in me lately, so I thought I would share the words.

ALL YOU'LL EVER NEED

The blood of Jesus, it is like the widow's oil

It's enough to pay the price to set you free

It can fill up every jar and every heart that ever beat

When it's all you have it's all you'll ever need

The blood of Jesus, it is like the leper's river

Running humble with a power you cannot see

Seven times go under, let the water wash you clean

Only go down to the Jordan and believe

Only go down in the Jordan and believe

And I need it, I need it, the closer that I grow

The more I come to know how much I need it

The blood of Jesus, it is like Elijah's fire

Falling on the altar of your faith

All the wisdom of the world could never conjure up a spark

But no power of Hell could ever quench this flame

No power of Hell could ever touch this flame

And I need it, I need it, the closer that I grow 

The more I come to know how much I need the blood of Jesus

The blood of Jesus, it is like the widow's oil

When it's all you have, it's all you'll ever need

It is all you'll ever need!

Going Organic

So, I have been wanting to change our diets for sometime, but haven't really known where to begin. We have been eating horribly in the past few months and we need to stop for health reasons. I started watching The Biggest Loser and it has really motivated me to eat healthy and exercise. I have also been wanting to cook a lot more because then, I know what's going into our bodies. Some friends of mine have introduced me to a co-op that gets fruits, vegetables, and I think they also get meat! They even get milk and eggs. AND IT'S ALL ORGANIC!! It seems a little pricey to me, but I decided just to try it out because, if we can make meals out of what comes in the box every two weeks, it will probably be a lot cheaper on our grocery bill every month. I'm just excited about knowing what ingredients I have and then finding something to cook with them. I get so tired of trying to find good recipes and then having to go out and buy everything to make them. This should make meal planning a little easier!

Things To Do In 2012

I've never been one for New Year's Resolutions, but this year I really feel the need to have the abundant life that my Lord has promised. So, I made a list of things I want to get out of this year. It consists of some dreams that I have always had and just things I want to accomplish! I'm really excited about it! So, here it is!

Goals for 2012

1) Read the Bible in a year or less. (I am sad to say I don't think I've read the entire Bible. There are just some books that I always get stuck on)

2) Learn to play my hammered dulcimer. (It has been my favorite instrument for years and I have had one for 7 years. It's time to make beautiful music with it)

3) Learn to run.

4) Run in a 5K.

5) Find a church that we are just crazy about and really get involved.

6) Finish my courses for Medical Transcription and hopefully get a job doing that from home.

7) Take a real vacation for a week this summer! (We only ever get out of town for the weekend and it's just too short)

8) Sing. (My dream has always been to sing in some way whether it be back-up in a band, in a really awesome choir, or on the worship team at church)

9) Be a better wife, mother, friend, and relative. (In general just be a better lover of people)

This list just really makes me excited about this year! I can't wait to see what God is going to do in my life and the lives of those around me!

Me, Myself and Lies

Here I am again, battling Satan for the thoughts in my head. He is doing everything he can to convince me that I am nothing to no one. It's been a really hard week. It seems rather heartbreaking that days after we are supposed to be celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior that it can seem like it never happened. I have done a lot of grieving this week over a lot of things and it has just knocked me down over and over again. I guess it's that after Christmas depression that people talk about, but for me, it's something I deal with all year. Anyone who knows me knows that I am very hard on myself and don't view myself as a worth while or valuable person. I've dealt with it most of my life. It's an area that Satan has such a hold on that every time I try to give it to God it just doesn't sink in. When I do give my thoughts to God, I feel so on top of the world, but that only lasts for a day or two because then, something happens and I'm right back to my old ways. Yesterday, I hit rock bottom in this moment of Satan induced self-loathing and I had had enough.

So, I went to the book case in our room, trying to find anything to do with God that would give me a little encouragement. I came across this Bible study that I bought at another time such as this and decided to start diving into it again. This post is in no way an endorsement of said Bible study (which this post is titled after) because sometimes it is a little on the cheesy side, but I like the idea of it. It is basically telling women to take their thoughts and fill them up with God's. So, whenever we start to worry or get down on ourselves, we should change the course of those thoughts to what God tells us in His Word. Isn't that what we are supposed to do anyway? We are supposed to let God's Word fill up our hearts and lives. I know I need more than a Bible study to change the way I think. I need God to speak to me and maybe this is how it will finally break Satan's hold on me!

Ramblings

I don't really know where to start other than it's been a difficult few months for us. I'm still struggling just to find a good balance between wife, mother, and employee. I love being at home with Logan, but there are a lot of times I wish that were my only job again. A couple of days out of the week, I can barely function, let alone be really attentive to my little boy. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that my job requires me to be on my feet a lot. It's been 4 months and my body still isn't handling the job very well. My dream job has always been a desk job, like a receptionist. It's not because I'm lazy, believe me, I'm not. It's just that I have always enjoyed those tasks that others would find boring. I like working on the computer, filing papers, making copies, just anything like that. I also don't like not being here at night with my husband. There is just something about being with my family at night that is so precious to me. I guess because it is the time to share how our day went and it's the one time of day that we're all together for more than a few minutes. Plus, it's the time where Logan is asleep and it's just the two of us.

Thankfully, there is the hope of another season in our lives! I have been doing an online program for Medical Transcription for awhile and I have set my goal to be finished by May! By that time, Logan will be 3 and old enough to go to preschool in the fall and we think it would be good for him. If I can get a job shortly after I finish my program, we will see if he can start going to school in the summer just to get him acclimated before the fall. That is the plan as of right now anyway. Who knows, maybe God has something else in mind, but even if our plan is not His plan, we will be okay. I do like my job. It just has it's drawbacks like any other job. I know I won't be there forever, but right now, it's where I am and I am doing my best at it and it can be a lot of fun. I like my coworkers and it's an easy job. I just wish my body would think it is as much fun as I do sometimes. Sorry for the rambling. I've never been that great of a writer.

Our New Home

Well, we moved a little over a week ago! We're still not done unpacking, mainly because we are taking the time to go through everything and deciding if we want or need to keep it or not. Despite the fact that there are still some boxes in every room, I love this apartment! I really can't explain it. It is just so cozy. Our living room just feels like the most comfortable living room we've ever had. This apartment is bigger than the house we just moved out of! The playground is just to the right of our building and Logan loves going out there! We also have really nice neighbors downstairs. The guy that lived there came out and offered to help us move some things when we were moving in and Mike has already had a couple of long conversations with him! This is really great because we have never really known our neighbors before. They have a little girl and boy that Logan has played with on the playground. I am just so thankful that God has provided this new place for us and I can't wait to see what He does while we are here!

Humbled

Last night at work, my first delivery was one that I get at least once a week. This week she ordered twice. On Wednesday, she didn't tip me. So, of course, sinful person that I am, I complained about her not tipping as soon as I saw who I was delivering to. Right away, I knew that I did not have an attitude that was pleasing to God. So, I asked for forgiveness and prayed that God would help me not to be mad at her or continue to think badly of her if she didn't tip this time. When I got to her apartment, she recognized me as the person who delivered to her the day before. She apologized most sincerely to me for not having a tip for me the day before and said that she only had enough cash for the sandwich and wouldn't be able to tip me today either. I felt so horrible as she was saying this because I had such a bad attitude about going there. Then she asked me when I worked again and I told her the days that I work, so, she said she would tip me extra next week when she ordered again. So humbling!

This was just another one of those lessons that you should never judge people too quickly. You have no idea what their circumstances are or how they are struggling. I mean, this is the second most important commandment, "Love your neighbor as yourself," and I did not love on that girl. What an Awesome way for God to show me that I need to get off of my high horse. I also love the fact that even though I was already aware of how sinful I was being and was dealing with it on the way, God said, "No, I still think you need to be taken down another notch or two for this to really sink in," and had me go through that conversation with this sweet girl. Thank you, Father, for these important lessons in humility!